In The Crook of My Arms

His head is tilted back, mouth slightly open. His breath is slow and steady and his eyes almost all-closed but slightly open. His neck nestles over the crook of my arm and I stare at his face as he breathed in and breathed out. A feeling of overwhelming love washed over me. I was totally at peace as I watched my son sleep in my arms.

I must say that theres absolutely nothing quite like it at all.

When was it that he got so big? Hes almost too big to fit into my arms as his legs dangled off the edge of my other arm. He speaks almost in adult-fashion now but in child lingo. He has mastered the art of writing and drawing a very funny and individualistic sketch of the sun and a smiley face. He is old enough to tell me that his favorite color is red and favorite number is 4. I know I am his mom but the effects of being a protector, a caregiver; a mom has never failed to astound me.

Sometimes daily needs outweigh the needs of our children. Their need to have us by their sides to kiss the wounds and to heal the tantrums. They need us now what else can be more important than that. They need us to tell them that its OK when others are not nice to them and that they dont have to avenge the bad behavior of others. They need us to tell them that its OK to feel bad when theyve made a mistake and are asked to say sorry for the mistakes. They need us to bring them out in the playground and teach them about nature, about living and about the world. They need us. Period.

There are times that I wonder if I should just give up the working arrangement that I have fiercely fought for for the past 5 years and go back into the rat race. There are weak moments when I wonder if I have done the wrong thing and have pampered them by trying to be an overly positive parent. I wonder too, if my kids are good kids or bad kids. But now I know, theres no such thing as a bad kid; and a good kid is a stroke of luck.

Everything becomes worthwhile when he runs over to me and shouts, Mommy!!! My mommy! and come crashing into me, bumping my nose and cracking my lips with his forehead. He buries his head into my shoulder and I bury mine into his. We stay in that position for a full minute before we peel apart and start planting wet kisses all over each others faces. We dont care about germs, do we? I just want to kiss him until the day I die just kiss him senseless and no one can tell me that I cant kiss my own baby that way.

But till when will this luxury last? Our kids are borrowed treasure for we know they wont remain babies for very long. My babies wont need me for very long now. Soon, theyll be old enough to prefer their friends to me. Soon enough, theyll want to go out with their friends and wont want me to tag along. Soon enough, theyll only speak to me when they want my car or want me to pay their cell phone or Internet bills for them. Soon enough, theyll have a life of their own and mine is kicked aside.

So, for now, I treasure this 3-year-old baby in my arms, lying so soundlessly sleeping in the crook of my arms. He fits just perfect right now.

How I wish he would fit into my arms like that for the rest of my life.and his. But I know he wont. And thats one BIG, FAT reason to treasure the moments now.

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Child Care - When Is It Too Much? - Part II

In this second of a two part series we're going to discuss what can be done to balance between child care and giving your child the attention he deserves.

To balance out the care your child gets between the child care center and yourself, assuming that both parents have to work or in the case of a single parent, there are several things that can be done.

This isn't always easy, but try to work out a flexible work schedule with your boss. If both parents work a day job maybe you can arrange to have one of the parents working either at night or a staggered shift, say starting at noon and working to 8 or 9. This way one parent will be home with the child most of the morning and the other parent can be home with the child all evening, leaving only a few hours each day that the child is actually in the care of a day center. This may not seem like much but every hour is something.

Another thing a parent can do is see if it is possible to take the child to work with him or her for at least a couple of days a week. Some work places actually have daycare facilities inside. While it is true that the parent will be spending most of the time working and not with the child, there is still the ride to work, lunch and break times and the ride home that they can spend together. Just this little bit of time to break up the day can make a big difference in your child's disposition, especially if he is old enough to look at the clock on the wall and know that in a short time mommy or daddy are going to be picking him up for a nice lunch together.

If neither of those are an option then there is another alternative that is actually becoming very popular especially among mothers. That option is to become a Work At Home Mom or what is commonly referred to as a WAHM. A work at home mom is just what it sounds like, a mother that does her work out of the house. Today, with the advent of the computer, this is easy to do. There are many legitimate opportunities a mother can find on the Internet that can pay her for the work she does at home, from stuffing envelopes to typing ads. Of course she has to carefully check out each opportunity before getting involved, as there are many scams out there, but once she finds something with a good reputation, usually a company that is a member of the BBBOnline, she should be able to make a decent enough income to justify her staying at home. It may not be as much as what she would make in an office but when you factor in that there are no transportation costs, no lunches to pack, etc., the income may be more than enough to get the family over the hump.

The bottom line is this. We don't have children to dump them in a daycare center. Children need their parents. There are ways to make that happen. It just takes a little effort and a little compromise.

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Funerals - Hindu Funerals

Hindus believe that life and death are an eternal circle. After life comes death, then reincarnation and so on, until, in some circumstances the soul can be set free from that eternal circle. One such circumstance, is the person dying in or near the holy city of Varanasi in North East India, where the funeral ghats are beside the sacred River Ganges.

Hindus also believe that cremation allows the spirit to move on to its next incarnation and therefore nearer to heaven. Thus, although death is a sad event to Hindus, the emphasis is more on the soul's onward journey and that is celebrated. The flames of the funeral pyre are said to represent Brahama, the Hindu God of Creation.

After a death, the family of the deceased will meet as soon as possible to pray by the body. The body will not be touched if possible, as a corpse is considered to be unclean.

The deceased will be normally be dressed in white (a wife pre-deceasing her husband is dressed in her red bridal outfit) and will be placed on a bier and decorated with flowers and sandalwood.

The funeral service will be conducted by a priest and lead by the eldest son or nearest male relative of the deceased, who will light the fire and will circle the pyre praying for the soul of the dead person. The exact order of service may vary depending on location and family traditions. The ashes are often sprinkled on water and some families go to the River Ganges to do this to ensure the most auspicious passage to the next life.

The house of the deceased will be cleansed and purified by a priest using spices and incense and the 13 days of mourning will begin. During this time, there will often be a picture of the deceased on display, garlanded with flowers and friends will come to the house to offer their condolences. Mourners will wear white. On the 13th day, the ceremony of Kria is performed, which involves the offering of rice balls and milk in thanksgiving for the life of the deceased, after which, life for the family returns to normal.

One year after the death and sometimes every year thereafter, Shraddah takes place, where the family offer food to the poor and needy in memory of the deceased.

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